A recently divorced father (Jauvier Bardem) has his kids for the weekend at his new house and does what any dad would do after a divorce: let’s them buy anything they want, including a creepy Jewish demon box at a yard sale. Of course, they don’t realize it harbors a demon until his youngest daughter opens the box and becomes possessed… and then creepy shit happens… the father catches on that all is night well and seeks professional help from a Rabbi (from Isreal no less - he’s not fucking around with American stock!). Blah blah blah - this is basically a Jewish version of The Exorcist, but not as good. This movie should have been locked in Jewish demon box and stowed away in that warehouse where the Ark of the Covenant was put away in Raiders.
I should end my review there, and really I could, but I got some things to get off my chest. At the beginning of the movie, a caption comes up that says that the film is based off a “true story”. I am sooo goddamn sick of these possession movies using that lame ass gimmick to give the movie sort of fake legitimacy, and therefor make it scarier (because this could happen to yoooooooouuuuu! Mwuahahahahaha!). Even William Castle, who was famous for using crazy gimmicks to heighten the atmosphere of his horror films, such as offering free caskets to those who die of fright, would scoff and roll his eyes at this weak shit.
The worst part are the people who watch this and actually go home believing this crap. I was so frustrated with The Exorcism of Emily Rose because that film was about whether or not possession was real or if it is just a manifestation of a psychotic episode. The moral dilemma centers around whether or not Emily’s life could have been saved had her superstitious family given her into the care of medical science instead of a deluded priest. It’s an interesting angle on exorcism movies… until the film falls onto the side of “Yup, she was possessed - take THAT science!” Encouraging gullible people into believing that a sprinkling a few specks of holy water onto their child will cure a seizure is irresponsible. So change the wording a bit: “This movie is based on the testimony of a real person. It may or may not be true.”
Anyway, that aside, the movie was just boring, standard possession movie tropes with a Jewish dreidel spin (see what I did there?). Everybody whispers most of their lines, making it frustrating to hear dialogue. All the effects are very obviously computer generated, which takes me out of a movie pretty quickly. The story plods at a slow pace, forcing me to succumb to my iPhone’s “come hither” stare to play Clash of Clans rather than pay attention to the nothing happening on screen.
It’s a pretty disappointing start to my October horror film marathon, but what are you gonna do! Them’s the breaks when you let Netflix decide what to watch next!
This movie gets 2 out of 4 Jewish demon boxes.
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